CIRCLEWORK
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"I am one of the lucky-unlucky ones: Four cancers in eight years. I am not special. But I am still here."
"I know I am one of millions walking this road. I know there are people with more aggressive cancers, fewer treatment options, less access to care, and greater burdens than mine. I do not compare my suffering to anyone else's. I share my story only because it is mine to tell, and because someone else might feel less alone reading it."
21/5/26
Last week (12/5/26) I was preparing to celebrate my 5 year anniversary remission from bowel cancer. Part of the ongoing screening involves blood tests for markers and a CT scan of the torso. This time the scan has come back with indications of unusual prostate growth and an associated swollen lymph gland. Cancer? Early days.
Not good and I have been referred to a urologist for further testing and a biopsy.
This is my fourth cancer journey in 8 years and instead of withdrawing I've been thinking about documenting the journey. This is the start.
Co-incidentally I have been getting coached by Dawnelle Arthur from AgeDEFY for some shoulder issues resulting from a radical neck dissection to remove a rogue lymph gland in my neck Jan 2025. Part of my training is a goal of increasing my cardio. Basically I am pretty fit but I am now training to get Fit to Fight prostate cancer.
Generally I'm OK, a bit anxious to get started and very interested in how challenging it is to accept the situation. Acceptance is really the only way that I can go.
This journey is going to be an investigation of Wu wei.
24/5/26
25/5/26
So today I’m feeling pretty good generally, high energy and realistic outlook. I’ve spent a fair bit of time on DeepSeek asking questions around staging biopsy results and a notion prognosis. Not critical but the morbidity could be serious. Early days, still need a clinical diagnosis and treatment plan but it looks serious given I have a primary and a secondary cancer.
I’ve been reflecting on my Fit to Fight idea, It just makes sense to be as mentally and physically fit as possible before any treatment. But…if you had asked me 6 months ago about ”fighting cancer” I would have expressed an unease with the term. And now I’m doing Fit to Fight.
Having thought about what looks like a contradiction I can say this today. My long term view is that I feel I have to accept the reality of cancer, acceptance is key to living in the flow of the disease. Pushing back is a bit tricky. I appreciate that if you’re looking at mortality or the ongoing grind of treatment that’s not going to be easy. In my cases so far I’ve kind of skated through and come out OK, this time…maybe not so much. Regardless, I think for me, struggling against the fact isn’t going to help. Saying “it’s not fair” doesn’t make me feel any better really. I don’t know why but it’s the march of biology and I’ve ended up in this situation…who would have thought? PS I don’t believe in karma either, hard things happen.
27/5/26
Had a session with Lizzie Eastwood, my physio (oncology and lymphoedema specialist) and we did a baseline test on the SOZO machine. This will be helpful to track the journey and maybe give some insight into morbidity…
A SOZO device measures body composition (muscle, fat, water) and specifically extracellular fluid—the fluid that accumulates in lymphedema.
What it measures
Why it matters for you
Lymphedema risk score
Baseline before any pelvic surgery or radiation. Future scans show if fluid is accumulating.
Extracellular water ratio
The key metric for early lymphedema—before you can see or feel swelling.
Muscle mass
ADT causes muscle loss (sarcopenia). Baseline muscle mass lets you track loss and fight it.
Shoulder review was good, some slight internal rotation of the L shoulder to focus on more extension. Otherwise all good.
28/5/26
MRI today…$700.
It’s occurred to me that having basically had 4 cancers over 8 years and survived no problems, each event gets more complicated.
My pate cancer was the first (2019). After a year of chasing a recurring squamous cell carcinoma I had an overnight x2 in hospital with a plastic surgeon. Recovery was quick, I have a significant disfigurement but no biggie….I can’t see it!
My second (2021) cancer was a Stage 1 bowel detected as part of routine colonoscopy. No drama, left hemi colectomy, remove 30 cm and stick back together. This was a fairly serious recovery but my front line was OK and I was out walking in three weeks, nothing ongoing.
(And…speaking of surgery I also had two hernia repairs (2024), inguinal and abdominal. All good.)
My third cancer (2025) was a rouge lymph gland LHS neck. In Nov I had a pain in my neck, then a lump then I lost my C11 nerve. Got scanned, biopsy and on the block for a radical neck dissection by Jan 3. Six weeks recovery, then radiation therapy for 6 weeks. Ongoing discomfort and limited shoulder, it’s difficult to internally rotate and elevate my arm in the lateral plane. No big deal on one level, I am grateful that I can still partner train and spin hands and it doesn’t hurt per se.
Now I’m looking at prostate primary tumour and a secondary associated lymph gland. I’m off for an MRI today to start the staging process prior to a biopsy prior to a treatment programme.
So…progressively much more complicated from what I can tell. Early daze.
D1/21 1/6/26
First day of a new month…bring it on with new goals. I won’t be seeing my Urologist for another 3.5 weeks so I’ve got lots of time to train.
Did a solid hour on the bike and an hour yard duty so far 145 MEPS and it’s only lunch time! I’m going to try and get 3k MEPS this month. Bike 10 min, mobility pole 10 min, bike 10 min, free hand weights 10 min, bike 10 min and a balance cool down 10 min. On my bike I imagined I was peddling around the neighbourhood and visualised as much detail as I could. I swayed to go around corners and juiced up on inclines…good fun.
2/6/26
Same start to the day as yesterday only stronger, D2 of my personal 21d challenge. In 3 weeks I have an important meeting with my urologist to discuss my diagnosis and treatment.
So I’m going to go for it as part of my F2F plan. Yesterday I ended up with 339 MEPS out of three sessions including yard work and slow yoga. I’m feeling good today.
My shoulder has settled down. I think it was minor inflammation because I started to add some strong, as in hand weights, 3 and 5kg to the mix. All of your moves I can remember and circles too mixed in with bike work. I’ve taken on your suggestion of moving around on the seat and swaying side to side etc . I do it by remembering and imagining I’m in my neighbourhood and twisting and turning around the urban space.
I’m off to my TCM practitioner this morning to see how she can help me build deep resilience.
3/6/26 Wed
D3 all good, did dog running at Curtin uni and had a good spin wit MJ. He has pretty good contact but is hesitant to juice up tag games. His shoulders get sore, he says he’s over 100kg but doesn’t feel like it.
Heard from Kara McDerrmott re MRI scan this afternoon. A biopsy is warranted so I’m booked for next Tuesday…..surprise. I’d considered this eventually but had kind of put it back, now it’s here. Just test the prostate first….then the gland. Not sure why. Day surgery correspondence to follow. I’m a bit freaked…..
4/6/26 Thurs
D4 not feeling over energised, got through the workout but. Lots of paperwork. It’s going to cost $1500 for KM and anaesthetist.
Got my MyZone fixed.
Crashed and missed Morning Grove.
5/6/26 Friday
D5 feeling strong.
The report from the MRI is not good. Advanced, early metastasis and rare cancer cells.
Kind of sobering and opens up the way for the possibility of chemo/imuno therapy.
D6 Reflections on MRI results
8/6/26
D7 feeling pretty good. This is humbling….
I’ve sorted out OC responsibilities….Liz is going to do the admin.
D9/21 Tues, off for a biopsy.
BIG DAY. 4am 30 min bike blitz, Day surgery, 8pm Morning Grove, AgeDEFY camel.
The whole experience went well and I quickly recovered and did an AgeDEFY class in the evening. And a bonus…I saw Jen Ryan in the recovery ward and she came over and held my hand…..I am supported and surrounded by love and professionalism.
D10/21 Wed, at home
Am, 70 min bike, mobility pole ChiFlow, free weights, kettlebell swings, tiger/bear, Camel and toe stands. 2139MEPS monthly status.
Today I feel really good, I think I’m channelling heaps of nervous energy but…2594 MEPs by lunchtime!!!! Did a second dog run to the shopping centre.
I’ve been discussing things with DeepSeek and getting good clarity on some of the challenges ahead. In particular why I chose to focus this time on Fit to Fight e.g.
Fit to Fight - I’m not fighting because I’m in a battle with cancer, I’m training so that I can stay composed when most people would break. I’m not fighting out of fear I’m fighting out of respect for my opponent.
"I am not fighting because I hate cancer. I am training so that I can stay steady when everything shakes. There is a difference."
Thursday D11/21
Morning the most difficult with uncertainty. I’m off to FSH today to see the radiation oncologist as part of my neck follow up so that’s on my mind big time. My neck is fine….
Had a 75 min cycle/mobility pole/cycle/free weight and kettlebell/cycle/stretch. 253 MEPs, feeling strong.
Friday D12/21 over half way
over half way and feeling good. 75 min bike, mobility pole with wrist flicks, free weights, toe stands and 200 kettlebell swings including my first 100 consecutive Z1/Z2!! 252 MEPs.
So here is something funny for Mr. Martial Artist Fit to Fight. Yesterday I had a follow up appt at Fiona Stanley Hosp (FSH) in the radiation oncology dept after my radical neck dissection and radiation treatment last year. First up the parking was bad, long wait in a cue to get into to park (I’m not big on uncertainly), then I spent 25 min in the chapel contemplating life the universe and everything etc and then made my way to my meeting. By the time I got in the office I broke down in tears, completely triggered by all the memories and images and needing a release. Wow, I recovered and we discussed my situation and I left feeling shaken but ok. My neck is good.
So two things. Firstly, I am carrying some trauma from my last experience I need to reflect on and secondly if I end having to go back for treatment at FSH I am going to park away from the FHS in adjacent suburbia and walk to my appts. I will treat this as part of my therapy treatment. Good for step count.
Sat Day 13/21 a bit flat…
75 min cycle, mobility pole, cycle, free weights and kettlebell, cycle, cool down. 248 MEPs and 84% effort. Happy with that. Two AgeDEFY connections tonight and a big day tomorrow. An early morning spinning hands session with a good training partner followed by 2 hours teaching tai chi/qi gong.
Sun Day14/21
No spinning with JD, went to the club and did Registrar stuff. We all had a good session at Restful Waters, 3 newbies all signed up for next week and some good feedback from Pam.
Denise Rouleau taught me how to organise and activate using Tom Myers anatomy trains. Once this approach integrated with Subtle Yoga and Qi Gong I’ve never looked back. These are a set of simple principles that make a HUGE difference.
D14/21 a slow to get motivated but 75min cycle, mobility pole, cycle, strong, cycle, chi flow. 260 MEPs, 78% effort….got there!
Had a great first Tai Chi class at RW.
D15/21 All good, calming the chaos of uncertainty. 84 min, 267 MEPs, 78%, cycle, mobility pole, cycle, free weights and kettlebell, cycle, yard duty sweep.
D16/21 D16/21 So far….two short dog runs, 100MEPs. Still got a power yoga and Morning Grove to go!
Heard from Kara re pathology, I’m classed as a 4+5 on the Gleason scale, that’s a 9 out of 10. Not good. “High risk and nasty.”
D17/21 two short dog runs at CU, approx. 100MEPs.
D18/21 18/6/26 Off to SJG for a PET scan to follow up the biopsy and the meeting with Kara next Wednesday.
Early morning dog run, spinning hands with JD, dog run. 345 MEPs, 1.5hrs. Feeling pretty good generally.
D19/21 19/6/26 353 MEPs. Good yoga class, last day with Penny…kind of sad.
D20/21 371 MEPs, dog runs and tai chi
D21/30 challenge complete. Got through a few short runs (292 MEPs) and I've completed my 21 days so I've decided to go for the full month, so re-set 21/30 now, New day. Cheers
Had a good class at RW, 7 for tai chi, caught up with JK as well.
D22/30 70min, bike, pole, bile, kettlebell, bike. chi flow. 154MEPs, no red!! I’m feeling a bit stressed about my meeting with Kara on Wednesday afternoon. Thinking today about surgery….
FROM DEEPSEEK
The procedure you're asking about is a Robot-Assisted Radical Prostatectomy (RARP) with an extended pelvic lymph node dissection (ePLND). This is a very common and precise surgery for high-risk cases like yours .
You asked earlier about the effect of ePLND on your hip/pelvis mobility. That is a unique question that most patients never ask. And it is central to your identity.
Consider opening the question like this:
"My training for the past 40 years has been rooted in my center—physically from the dan dien. I need to understand how this extended lymph node clearance will affect my hip and pelvis mobility, not just in the short term but in the long term. What can I expect, and what can I do to protect that?"
Your surgeon will understand you are not asking idle questions. You are asking from a lifetime of embodied knowledge. That will likely deepen the conversation.
xxx